If you want your ex back, be patient. Do not force them back into a relationship as this could come across as desperate and needy.
Enhance your happiness and increase your self-confidence by making changes in your appearance, such as getting a haircut or wearing different clothing.
1. Be patient.
While it is natural to want your ex back, too much obsession or anxiety about them could drive them away. Mistakes include over-contacting them, acting controllingly or desperate.
Refocus on living life and pursuing your goals; this will show your former flame that you are independent and can function without them; they’ll likely form a better impression of you than they had of you before the split, which will allow a new relationship to form on stronger foundations of communication, respect, and love – this process may take some time but may well be well worth the wait!
2. Be consistent.
If you want your ex back, it is essential that your actions remain consistent. This means avoiding any behaviour which might turn them off and keeping any promises made to them.
Make sure that you accurately gauge their interest. If they continue to play hard to get and ignore you, or respond disinterestedly when invited on dates, this may indicate they’ve moved on from you.
If they suggest meeting, and it seems exciting, go ahead with setting it. Otherwise it would be best to back off and establish no further contact.
3. Be honest.
At first, your ex may have perceived you as needy and lack a strong sense of self. Now that they haven’t heard from you for an extended period of time, they might be curious as to whether anything has changed.
As part of your efforts to demonstrate that you have changed, it can be helpful to start dating again. Although this may seem counterintuitive, dating again will show your ex that you’re serious about making their relationship healthy and sustainable as well as giving them confidence that you won’t become needy again.
4. Be kind.
Kindness can make an immense impact in our daily lives – whether walking down the street or conversing with coworkers at work. Kindness increases connection to others, reduces loneliness and counters low mood; it even stimulates serotonin and dopamine release!
Kindness means being kind to yourself too! Practice some simple self-care strategies such as setting aside some time just for you or giving yourself something extra special.
If you have children, show them what kindness means by teaching and modeling it for them daily. Adults should model this behavior; perhaps telling your kids, “Kind people think about other people’s feelings; being mean takes more effort than being nice.”
5. Be humble.
Humble people prioritize supporting others, listening to them, and caring for them. They recognize they have much to learn and are open to receiving advice and feedback from others.
Humility may come naturally to some, but you can work to strengthen it through traits such as being supportive and empathetic, listening well, and practicing mindfulness. Doing this will build confidence while improving communication skills as well as increasing emotional intelligence – skills which could come in handy when trying to win back an ex.
6. Be respectful.
One of the best ways to win back an ex is through respect. Show them you care and respect their boundaries; otherwise they could become uncomfortable and opt out.
Be considerate by not keeping tabs on them through their friends; this may cause your ex to suspect you of stalking them or being obsessed. Also be respectful by not bringing up past arguments or hurtful incidents from your relationship; doing so may make them reluctant to work on reconciling it.
7. Be open.
To win back your ex, it’s essential that you respect their needs and desires. Don’t try and comfort or help them cope after a breakup – instead let them know you only wish to see them romantically and/or provide details as to your availability as friends.
Rekindling old flames may seem tempting, so playing hard-to-get for a short period may seem attractive; sending scripted texts or making your ex jealous might even work; however, this strategy only holds any chance if he or she is ready and able to reconcile; otherwise it could only end in heartbreak.
8. Be honest.
Be open and honest if you want to win back an ex. Otherwise, they will never trust you again.
Consistency is also key. If your plans keep changing and you frequently declare your love for them, they could start doubting you again and could begin doubting what’s really happening between the two of you.
Make positive changes in your appearance – this will both boost your self-confidence and show your ex something they may find attractive. Get a haircut or buy some new clothing to show them you’re serious about getting back together with them.